Resilience. Major Buzzword. Everyone seems to be talking about it. "The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness." Particularly in the wake of the recent helicopter crash that ended the life of Kobe and Gianna Bryant and reflecting on Kobe's basketball career. Resilience is a psychological principle. Can you cope? Can you face the struggles in your daily life? Can you manage conflict and overcome tragedy or trauma?
You can see it when you look around you, to some degree. A friend just summitted Mount Kilimanjaro. Just got on a plane in the US, headed to Tanzania, Africa, and then climbed to the 19,308 foot high summit. I'd say that takes resilience. I work with patients every day who are overcoming injuries, surgeries, physical pain, chronic conditions, family struggles... and more. I see resilience in front of me all the time.
This year, Seattle Children's hosted a leadership conference where Dr. Bertice Berry was the keynote speaker who spoke about Resilience. She later presented to a remote Seattle Children's staff about Resiliency Connections. So in the past month I've listened to Dr. Berry speak about resilience twice, and it seemed like a fitting topic this week.
When asked what Dr. Berry would choose as her dream job, she said she wanted the title of "Chief Inspirational Officer." That sounds like a giant undertaking. The responsibility to inspire staff to improve their life on a day to day basis is not something Dr. Berry takes lightly. I have the challenge of motivating and/or inspiring (definitely not the same, though sometimes both are needed) patients every day and this is hard!
Here are some things I took from Dr. Berry's presentation.
First, identify your own purpose and identify your daily intentions. This could be in your personal ife or in your professional world. Consider "Why me, here, now?" Why am I here, helping this particular person with their physical therapy today? How can I make this the best experience for both the patient and for myself so that they have the optimal outcome. Why is it important to me that I do this? How can I make a difference in my coworkers' lives, in my patients' lives, and in my own life?
Second, have I given enough of myself today? There were many memorable quotes from Dr. Berry's presentations, but one in particular was "you feel poor when you're not able to give." And I agree. I struggle the most when I'm facing a patient I can't help. I get frustrated with patients who have conditions that don't have a positive outcome. I know that I can't help everyone. I am constantly grateful that I am able to help anyone. My usual intention is to help my patients learn to help themselves. I don't like the idea of fixing people or that they need fixing. Patients, even those with injuries, diseases, or conditions, are still humans and they are not broken. They are filled with life, experience, and resilience. Sometimes they may need a little guidance in harnessing their inner drives and motivations.
Dr. Bertice Berry on remote feed at Seattle Children's |
And third, the need for human connection. Dr. Berry said, “You can’t be well without connecting. You can’t help others be well if you’re not well yourself.” As a healthcare provider, the amount of time you spend giving of yourself is a lot. You need to find ways to take a little bit too, to refill your cup or recharge your batteries - whichever metaphor you prefer. There is a reason why people gather into communities, why the family unit has so much value for many cultures, why prayer is regularly participated in collectively. A meal can be eaten alone, but is it ever as good as it is with good company? Prayer can be done individually, but doing so in a community elevate the spirit differently. Is singing alone in the shower the same as singing in your car with your best friends? I find, particularly when I'm working with patients experiencing chronic pain, that they have started to isolate themselves. They've stopped hanging out with friends, sometimes have stopped going to school, they withdraw from their family members, and they sometimes even say out loud that they don't like people. It's far easier to suffer alone than to hear others living their lives despite your suffering. But re-integrating into a community, finding people with shared interests and beliefs, and increasing interaction helps drag people out of that loneliness and into the light.
As a physical therapist who values therapeutic alliance first and foremost, before my patient care really gets underway, I prioritize connection. If my patient is not interacting with very many people, my role as their PT may be even bigger than guiding them in exercise. Showing interest in their life, who they are as a person beyond their pain circumstances, and simply listening may have a much bigger impact on them. Dr. Berry emphatically encouraged healthcare providers to connect with their patients. Find the common ground. Don't confuse your own vulnerability with authenticity. "Nothing sucks the energy out of you more than being someone other than who you truly are." Share your experiences to help them find their paths.
Whether you're mourning the loss of Kobe and Gianna Bryant or someone in your personal life, or you're facing an obstacle or tragedy that has got you down, know that you have resilience inside of you. Know that you're not alone, you just might need to look around to see who else is on your team. But look and you will find support in the most interesting places. Maybe it's your dog or your stuffed animal or your online blog that is primarily just read by your mom, like mine. Know that I'm rooting for you. Hopefully you can look around and find that you have enough inspirational and motivational people around you to move in the right direction.
Thank you, Dr. Berry.
“When you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny.”